Are You Home sick?

When we first went to Washington I wanted to take my kids to the Olympic Peninsula, to the rainforest. When we got to the west side of the mountain, between the Pacific Ocean and the mountain, I became very claustrophobic. I was surprised by my response; trouble breathing, anxious, and jittery. When we finally drove south, beyond the mountain, I thought, “thank God, now we can go home”. But you see “home” was in Connecticut, even though I was staying at my sister-in-law and brother-in-law’s and had been there for only 2 days before setting out for this little adventure their home had become my known – i.e. home. I realized I was homesick.

My spirit guide explained to me that being “homesick” is a common unconscious feeling that many hold. Not necessarily homesick for a physical dwelling but for their spiritual home, heaven, the light, whatever their idea of this known location of love, comfort, and peace. I understood that many people make choices that aren’t necessarily life enhancing perhaps to hasten their time on earth. This isn’t a conscious action, of course, but my hunch is that most addictions stem from this unconscious desire to “go home”, “to blow Dodge”, “to get the heck out of here”…

Remember how you felt at summer camp? It was fun and all, but in the background of those quiet moments was a longing to be back in the comfort of the familiar. As much as many of us have the desire to live, to be alive, we also have the resistance to living, to truly being alive too.